Feel free to hold the applause but I saved another life this week and while it was only a co-worker, they say every life has meaning. I suppose everyone has someone they could do without seeing again but sometimes your instincts just take over and you save them anyway. I was just going about my day correcting mistakes and putting commas where they belong when I was called to spring into action. Unbeknownst to me, my co-worker had put money in the vending machine and the lifeblood she had purchased had failed to drop into the tray. It hung there precariously, like when you throw a piece of pizza to the ceiling, and no amount of tears or curses could dislodge it. The sound of her cries and the gasps which, to me, sounded increasingly like death throes spurred me to action. With nary a thought for my own safety, I leaped to my feet to offer assistance. Remembering my Red Cross training I checked the scene for safety and yelled for someone to call 9-1-1 while I raced to the vending room. Completely disregarding the clearly posted warning that says, “Tipping or Rocking May Lead to Injury or Death” I rocked it to save a life. After performing what amounted to a mechanical Heimlich maneuver, mercifully it took only a couple of good hits before I was able to dislodge the object and the needed sustenance came free and plummeted down into the tray. Reaching into the maw of the machine I grabbed it and raced upstairs, elevator be damned. Other co-workers had her resting with her feet elevated, covered in a blanket to combat shock and I think one of them was massaging her throat to help keep her airway open. She had a deathlike pallor and since all vending machine offerings are packaged by some sadist in a Texas factory, it took a scalpel to open the package but she was soon resting comfortably after her infusion of…jalapeno-flavored Cheetos.
My heroic activities aside, I’m still a little confused as to where Cheetos stand in the food pyramid of meat, dairy, fruits, vegetables and grains but I’m told they have a little bit of everything and a whole lot of air. In fact, according to the ingredient listing on the package, air is the number one ingredient, followed closely by dust, a cheese-like odor and milk. So, it appears that if you’re vegan, keep kosher or want to live past 40, it would seem to be something to avoid. Now, I would never advocate ignoring your doctor’s advice so if one person’s insulin is another person’s Cheetos…crunch away but jeez, Cheetos have more artificial colors than a Jackson Pollock painting and if I’ve learned anything it’s that your food shouldn’t have more artificial colors than the bag it comes in.
While I’m current in First Aid and CPR, I would like to remind everyone not to try this unless you are a trained professional because if you have a friend that died because a vending machine fell on him…then you needed new friends anyway.
It’s not really that different in business. IMC offers rush products that may not save a life but might save a job and a business relationship in the promotional products industry. Most are suitable for any event and we have fresh ideas all the time. We know it’s sometimes hard to find new and exciting products so visit our website to see four new brands (Filter2Go, Stewart/Stand®, Ten Design & Trendex) and new items from our collections and brands from our 2013 Holiday Flyer. You can download the flyer or we’ll send you some, and you can see all the new items in the section of our website. The IMC catalog is also virtual on Zoomcatalog.com if you’re tired of carrying paper catalogs. We can help your clients celebrate milestones, anniversaries, shows or launches and keep the celebration foremost in their minds. From crystal awards and designer pens for anniversaries, retirements, speaker or holiday gifting to pens and keychains for product launches, giveaways and thank-you gifts. And we know your clients test you with price, delivery and detailed logos so we know what we can do with our products and how you can use or market them. IMC knows our products are here to support your client’s event and we’ll be honest about what we can do in terms of pricing, decoration and shipping so you can save your customer’s event. IMC has products to make you look and feel good and we continuously bring new brands and decorating options to the promotional product industry. These brands and options are developed with an eye toward the latest trends so we can continue to offer a wide realm of choices and options in both traditional and unusual promotional product categories. IMC is a recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. Our in-house family of decorators will transform your selection into a promotional product that will enhance your end-user’s event or ceremony. We treat every order with a practiced professionalism so the things that happen will be what you expect from an award-winning supplier. As well as continuously expanding the available product in our 6 Collections, IMC continues our industry-leading practice of bringing new retail brands to the promotional products industry. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 35 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. These include world renowned designers like Troika and the unique offerings from the Metropolitan Museum of Art and Blunt. We invite you to browse any of our 2,500+ products on the NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or Twitter. IMC wants to know…are you ready to try a tracheotomy?