I’ve written before about our culturally diverse offices in New York and here in California and I believe being exposed to multicultural environments is a boon to our development as human beings. That political correctness aside, I have a problem with one of these cultures and while I hate to appear culturally insensitive, I really think it’s time we did something about vegans. A plate without meat is like a day without sunshine. Isn’t that the saying? I guess I just don’t understand them. I mean, they wear funny clothes and I’m told they worship asparagus or something so I certainly don’t want them moving into my neighborhood. In fact, I think US Customs is slipping because we should be stopping more of them at the border. We should have some sort of vegetable visa so we know where they are. We have at least two, supposed vegans, in the offices here in California although I think their adherence to the vegan bible is suspect at best. I think one is a closet carnivore because I’m pretty sure I’ve smelled bacon on her breath and I caught the other one smuggling in a hard-boiled egg. To me, vegans never look particularly healthy and some of them are a downright funny color. In fact, my box of crayons has a new color…it’s called protein-starved yellow.
First of all, as a species we’ve only been walking upright for a blink of an eye in the space of time and personally, I still use foundation to cover my gills but in all our days as Homo Erectus, we’ve existed by eating meat and this was only made better when we discovered fire and invented barbecue. If you’ve ever seen the cave drawings in France, Spain, Australia or even Tennessee, you’ve seen our ancestors killing meat for food. There are no drawings of some guy dragging a carrot back to his cave. And the paintings of a tribe always show them with spears surrounding a saber-toothed tiger or woolly mammoth. You never see a bunch of guys with spears ganging up on a cabbage. Daniel Boone wrassled a bear, not a turnip. We have achieved our lofty place on the food chain by killing and eating anything that runs, swims or flies and we need to stand by that policy because if deer had cash and access to the gun department at Wal-Mart, I guarantee in 20 years they’d be hunting us. Hell, rabbits would be carnivores if they could find a species they could beat up.
Secondly, as a culture I’ve found vegans to be a pretty cranky bunch. I think it’s a byproduct of taking what they pretend to call food and trying to make it look like real food. They’re always trying to turn it into something the rest of us enjoy. While I have blood dripping down my shirt from my meat-filled burger you’re eating something called a soy burger, which is what you get when you soak cardboard in a mud puddle. I’ll be having turkey on Thanksgiving when you’re settling in with your tofurkey. What’s up with that? It sounds like a disease like…I need to put this ointment on my tofurkey. I like vegetables but I especially like the way they look on the grill right next to the meat and I’m fine if you want to roast the cauliflower with sprigs of rosemary but it had better not end up on the plate alone. It should be right where it belongs…next to the lamb chops.
It’s not really that different in business. IMC has thousands of products suitable any almost any multicultural event and none of them are made of meat. We know it’s sometimes hard to find new and exciting products so visit our website to see four new brands and new items from our collections and brands from our 2013 Holiday Flyer. You can download the flyer or we’ll send you some and you can see all the new items in the
section of our website. Products like these can help your clients celebrate milestones, anniversaries, shows or launches and will keep the celebration foremost in their minds. From crystal awards and designer pens for anniversaries, retirements, speaker or holiday gifting to pens and keychains for product launches, giveaways and thank-you gifts. And we know your clients test you with price, delivery and detailed logos so we know what we can do with our products and how you can use or market them. IMC knows our products are here to support your client’s event and we’ll be honest about what we can do in terms of pricing, decoration and shipping so you can make your customer happy. IMC has products to make you look and feel good and we continuously bring new brands and decorating options to the promotional product industry. These brands and options are developed with an eye toward the latest trends so we can continue to offer a wide realm of choices and options in both traditional and unusual promotional product categories. IMC is a recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. Our in-house family of decorators will cleanly transform your selection into a winner that will enhance your end-user’s event or ceremony. We treat every order with a practiced professionalism so the things that happen will be what you expect from an award-winning supplier. As well as continuously expanding the available product in our 6 Collections, IMC continues our industry-leading practice of bringing new retail brands to the promotional products industry. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 35 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. These include world renowned designers like Wedgwood and the unique offerings from Kikkerland and HighWave. We invite you to browse any of our 2,500+ products on the NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or Twitter. IMC wants to know…where’s the meat?