Please…can baby watch be over now? I know it’s important to some of you but I was over it before it started and I’m ready to get back to trivial things like the economy, healthcare, and the war. I was at a business luncheon yesterday and the topic of the day was the royal birth. So, I’m sitting there with a group of business people who are comfortable reading actuarial tables, arguing a case before the California courts, or giving you step-by-step instructions to disable a low-yield nuclear device, and we’re talking about some baby in another country. I don’t know why because we don’t care and we don’t know who is next in line for the throne because the only throne we sit on is in the bathroom.
Can it be over now because they’ve had the baby and they’ve named the baby and they’ve taken the baby home and, believe me, the home is not going to be confused with a studio apartment in Reseda? And in keeping with modern times…they saddled him with three names from the 18th century. I’m sure Kate caved in to make the in-laws happy. You may think your in-laws are bad but these are some pretty serious in-laws. I’m talking drawn-and-quartered in-laws. But I think all three names are problematic for the child so let’s run them down succinctly. Nobody knows a George who is under 50, most Alexes these days are girls, and nobody outside of Paris knows anyone named Louis. Heck, even the acronym spells GAL. His names will sound great when he’s about 58 but he’s in for a rough time in grade school. He might be the first prince stuffed into his own locker with his shorts wedged up around his neck.
Somehow the networks thought we were interested so they had cameras focused on two hospital doors and while that was terribly moving, they shifted focus for a moment to a talking head from NBC outside the hospital door so she could try to convince us that everybody wanted to see the baby, and I quote, “to see who it looked like.” Well, that’s just stupid. He’s less than 24-hours old and looks like a grape that’s been left out in the sun. At that age the only person a baby looks like is Don Rickles…and I’m pretty sure he wasn’t invited to a sleepover at Kensington Palace. That said, I’m sure the prince will be a good-looking boy because his parents are good-looking people. There are two reasons for that. One, Kate has good genes and two, William doesn’t look like his father. Seriously, have you seen Prince Charles lately? Maybe it’s me but I think he’s starting to look a little creepy. If you saw him in a van in front of your elementary school, you’d be dialing 9-1-1 as you ran for your life.
The person most anxious for the birth was probably the Queen. At 87, she’s kind of in the bonus round of life and I think she was worried that her exit might beat his entrance. While I’m happy she got to see him I really am tired of all the fuss. We just seem to care too much. After all, wasn’t that the whole point of the Revolutionary War? Didn’t we fight that war so we wouldn’t have to care? This is America. We already have Suri Cruise and…I don’t like her much. In America we don’t care about the House of Windsor…we care about the House of Pancakes. And what if you’re obligated to buy a baby gift? My friend just had a baby and I bought him a onezie and a balloon. This kid, if his great-grandmother ever dies, could be the King of England. What do you buy for the future King of England? I hear Greece is for sale…anyone want to go halvsies?
It’s not really that different in business. IMC always has something new and our Holiday Flyer is at the printer now. Four new brands and many new items from our collections and brands to help your clients celebrate milestones, anniversaries, shows or launches that will keep the celebration foremost in their minds. From crystal awards and designer pens for births, anniversaries, retirements, speaker or holiday gifting to pens and keychains for product launches, giveaways and thank-you gifts. Products you’d be happy to show to royalty. And we know your clients test you with price, delivery and detailed logos like the royal crest so we know what we can do with our products and how you can use or market them. At IMC we know our products are here to support your client’s event and we’ll be honest about what we can do in terms of pricing, decoration and shipping so you can make your customer happy. IMC has products to make you look and feel good and we continuously bring new brands and decorating options to the promotional product industry. These brands and options are developed with an eye toward the latest trends so we can continue to offer a wide realm of choices and options in both traditional and unusual promotional product categories. We are always happy to offer ideas, suggestions and case histories to help you present the items to your client. IMC is a recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. Our in-house family of decorators will turn your selection into a winner that will enhance your end-user’s event or ceremony. And IMC will take your order, deliver it on time, and on budget. We treat every order with a practiced professionalism so the things that happen will be what you expect from an award-winning supplier. As well as continuously expanding the available product in our 6 Collections, IMC continues our industry-leading practice of bringing new retail brands to the promotional products industry. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 35 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. These include world renowned designers like Visconti and the unique offerings from Fred & Friends and HighWave. And take a look at our newest retail brand Filter2Go because it’s great for summer promotions. So, look for our 2013 Holiday Flyer in August to help you plan your seasonal promotions. We invite you to browse any of our 2,500+ products on the NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or royal event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. We have promotional products for every event, coronation, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or Twitter. IMC wants to know…are you next in line?