We traveled across the state last week for our daughter’s graduation and I was again struck by this oddity we call California. We tend to trumpet the fact that we can go from ocean to mountain in a matter of hours. What we don’t tell anyone is that you have to traverse a desert to get there. So to get to 7,000 feet we start at sea level and actually go up and then down below sea level in the desert before you start to climb into the mountains. It’s like a roller-coaster in hell. There is, really, a town named Needles, apparently so-named because everywhere you turn, you bump into a cactus. As we speed through it, I can’t figure out why people would live here unless their last home was a microwave. And don’t talk to me about it being a dry heat. If you go to a restaurant, order a medium-rare steak and if by the time it gets to your table it’s beef jerky…well, then it’s too hot to live. Places like this make me believe in spontaneous combustion. You know it’s too hot when even the animals are trying to get out. I’ve passed…and hit…all manner of desert life so often while crossing the Mojave that I’m now convinced every animal I’ve hit has successfully committed suicide. You can’t go ¼ mile without seeing animal remnants and blood spatters that look like a Salvador Dali mural. Seriously, one trip and Granny Clampett would have road kill stew ‘til winter. I know I’m mixing mythologies but I’m beginning to wonder if they see the highway as their river Styx and they have to cross it to enter Valhalla. Why else would they try and defy the odds to cross a highway where every vehicle is approaching the speed of light in an effort to get away from the heat? It’s not like there’s a 7-11 on the other side and they need a Slurpee. Do you think Louie the lizard was just headed to the store for milk and cigarettes and expected to end up being asphalt syrup? Actually, the most fun you can have traveling this Hades Highway is trying to identify the leftovers. I think that was a jackrabbit but now it just looks like a fur pancake…with ears. Clearly the educational system is also failing the animals because their math skills are particularly weak. They continually misjudge the distance my minivan can travel within a given time period, unless they think my lights and blaring horn are signaling the arrival of the ice cream truck. And what about the families they leave behind? When the Mrs. ventures to the edge of the highway, does she see the plastered version of her loved one and think, “That looks a little like my Ed. All this time I thought he ran off with that little prairie dog in the next burrow. My bad.” Now, while some of these creatures foolishly think their speed and agility will win the day, what if you’re a desert tortoise? A trip across 4 lanes and a median is like a weekend excursion for him and he’s lucky if he gets 2 feet into the slow lane before UPS delivers 9 wheels across his back and the shell that could have been a nice ashtray is now a placemat. There’s not enough left of him to make a decent soup. And unless somebody dropped a hose in this waterless wasteland, I think I just ran over a rattlesnake. If it wasn’t so hot, maybe we’d stop and see if it really does taste like chicken?
It’s not really that different in business. IMC will cross some roads for you but we won’t take you anywhere we can’t go and we always have new products to offer you if your client is in a burning rush or you’re just trying to get something off your plate. We do this so you always have something that will take the heat off your client and keep their name in full view of their audience, whether they are promoting their company or an event or celebration. We know our products and what we can do with them and how you can use or market them. We also know our products are here to support your event and we’ll be honest about what we can do in terms of pricing, decoration and shipping so you won’t have to worry about your deal going up in smoke. For these reasons, IMC campaigns to continuously bring new brands and decorating options to the promotional product industry. These brands and options are developed with an eye toward the latest trends so we can continue to offer a wide realm of choices and options in both traditional and unusual promotional product categories. And we deal with some great distributors who have seen our finished product and are sharp enough to bring these new and exciting products to their clients. So we are always happy to offer ideas, suggestions and case histories to help you present the items to your client. IMC is a recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. Our in-house family of decorators will turn your selection into a winner that will enhance your end-user’s event or ceremony. And IMC will take your order, deliver it on time, and on budget. We treat every order with a practiced professionalism so the things that happen will be what you expect from an award-winning supplier. As well as continuously expanding the available product in our 6 Collections, IMC continues our industry-leading practice of bringing new retail brands to the promotional products industry. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 30 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. These include world renowned designers like Nina Ricci and the unique offerings from Umbra and Finelife. We invite you to browse any of our 2,450+ products on the NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or Twitter. IMC wants to know…can you take the heat?