Donn James
Since I can’t seem to keep a cohesive thought in my head long enough to fill this column today, I’m going to mention a few random things in the hope that they will congeal sufficiently to keep my fingers working this keyboard.
Someone in the office who has been abusing a little-known government loophole called “maternity leave” came by yesterday with her 4-month old child, who is clearly old enough to be in pre-school or, in some countries, have a job. Thankfully, I was already gone so I was spared baby puke on my shoulder but I’m told the rest of her co-workers oohed and aahed at appropriate times and told her how cute the baby was and they have irritatingly gone out of their way to show me pictures of this “precious bundle of joy.” I’m sure they also told her the baby looks like her or her husband but when I look at a picture of a hairless baby all I think is that the father must have been Mr. Potato Head.
I believe I can talk about politics if I equally congratulate or condemn both sides of the fence but since congratulations hardly seem in order, I choose to condemn. The elephants have just proposed a health plan they believe is good enough for us but not for them so they have exempted themselves from that part of the plan, which most of us with IQs above a cucumber do not see as even vaguely inspirational. On the other hoof, the donkeys continue to proffer plans that generally involve taking the money I work to earn and give it to people unwilling or unable to work in an effort to get more votes. Both sides have overlooked a vast, uncharted territory in America…it’s called the MIDDLE and many of our politicians would be well-served if they would occasionally visit it.
Why does Charmin toilet paper have such an extensive website? Isn’t everyone buying it at Costco like I do? And why do they have so many different types? Are we all that different we need to have a favorite as if it was one of five syrups at iHop? They also need to work on learning some more adjectives because they have ‘soft’ and ‘strong’ and now they’ve come out with ‘ultra soft’ and ultra strong,’ I guess to cater to butterflies and lumberjacks. Coming up with the word ‘ultra’ must have taxed their marketing department to the limit. They also now have a ‘sensitive’ and while I’m familiar with sensitive toothpastes and Kleenex, I suspect they thought they’d cash in on the latest craze by moving it a little south of there. They actually have a quiz for you to take to determine which product you should overpay for so, in the interest of science I took the quiz but I couldn’t get past the first question without throwing up a little in my mouth. Question 1: What are you searching for in life? Interesting question and in your mind you might automatically think of happiness, world peace etc. but your only choices are Toilet Paper or Flushable Wipes so the Deepak Chopra tape playing in your head immediately comes to a stop. Again, in the interest of science I clicked Toilet Paper and the next question is, “What does you toilet paper say about you?” Now, when I go out I can usually only hope it’s not stuck to my shoe as I wander through a restaurant and while I long for my toilet paper to say I’m a natty dresser, love my wife, kids and animals, all I really hear it saying is, “Goodbye dinner.”
IMC has in excess of 2200 promotional products that will help you serve your client and we are adding new brand partners and products from our collections and our established retail brand partners. We believe IMC products speak for themselves and we can also show you ways to use and market them to your clients. Our products with decoration will have your customer coming back time and time again. Since introducing Waterford® Writing Instruments and MoMA years ago, IMC has presented more than 50 retail brands from global suppliers to enhance the selections you can offer your clients. We invite you to browse any of our 2,200+ products on the BRAND NEW IMC website to see items suitable for any occasion or event and pieces you can use to personalize your relationship with your clients. You can register as a distributor, track orders, upload art for virtual samples and even create your own flyers and catalogs of our products. The 2017 IMC catalog is available by request from the IMC website and is posted on the online services. We’ll continue to treat our clients professionally and get your orders to you…on time and on budget. You can also request our 2017 catalog using the catalog page of our website or download the PDF. We have products for every event and if your client has invented a holiday or celebration, we can also custom-make almost anything you can dream to make your client’s event all it can be. Take a look at our YouTube channel to see some videos showcasing popular products for some ideas on how to use them. We take our business relationship seriously and we want you to enjoy, give and receive our products and be able to use them every day. We look forward to working with you and we always have ideas to make our products work for your clients. The 2017 IMC catalog is also live and available virtually at Zoomcatalog.com and on our website if you’re tired of fighting paper catalogs and it can be viewed nicely with your laptop, iPad, tablet or phone. IMC is the recognized leader in the introduction of new retail brands to the promotional product industry and has multiple design awards from both ASI and PPAI. We have promotional products for every event, show, convention, corporate store and company program that will keep your client looking to you for new ideas. What do you think? Let us know with a comment here or on Facebook or Twitter. IMC wants to know…how sensitive are you?
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